Looking back and thinking forward

Paula Sanchez

Parenting, hindsight and independence

Being the parent of an autistic child (or any child with additional needs) brings a whole load of extra challenges and expectations. I can’t speak for parents of those with the highest support needs, but as a ‘can almost pass for normal some of the time if the conditions are perfect’ autistic parent of a ‘can sometimes almost pass for normal if the conditions are perfect and he wants to’ autistic kid, it’s not as simple as intellectual ability plus verbal skills equals capable of independent living immediately upon reaching adulthood.

Despite the fact we know that autistic people often have ‘spiky profiles’*, ‘uneven development’ and ‘splinter skills’ there can be a lot of pressure to ‘support development’ and ‘encourage independence’. We often internalise the message that we need to be pushing our children to ‘keep up’, ‘catch up’ and ‘make progress’, and can be left…

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Why I struggle with ‘inspiration’ – A lot


The other day I was having a conversation with someone I have known on and off since my teenage years – before I was diagnosed. I was talking to her about my life and work. She asked me an odd question – ‘Do you work from home?’ I said that no I work in an office building with my colleagues. Then she asked how I got there. I told her I took the bus. Suddenly that terrible look came across her face. I’m not very good at reading looks but I usually I know this one all too well. She looked at me like I was a confused toddler and said ‘oh well done for getting the bus!’ as if of all my accomplishments that was the most impressive. The fact that the skills needed to do the work which I go to after I get off the bus are…

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Bearku from a bear for a you.

Hello, I am a bear

I hope you enjoy
these bearku I made for you.
I think they are nice.


I found a sharp rock.
It bit me inside my mouth.
Why did it do this?


The river has fish.
The grass has all the insects.
Where do I belong?


I do not eat snails.
They are simply too crunchy,
but slugs feel just fine.


Why am I a bear
when so many are not bears?
Can’t we all be bears?


Cold air finds a way
to let you know it is here.
Where is my hot air?


Human caves: pros, cons
Pros: quite warm, almost no deer
Cons: so much yelling


It is hard to trust
when even the sun and moon
can’t stay in one place.


Tress do not have names.
But I will call this one Ted.
Ted seems very nice.


Grass is…

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Two Roses


Two roses stand strong
within their protective thorns.
Entwined by years of friendship 
they share secrets, thoughts, laughter, and tears.
They sway with the whispering breeze
as they bloom and grow.
Mesmerizing all with the wisdom of their ageless beauty. 


©Alexis Rose; image: pexels.com

Thank You for reading my new book, If I Could Tell You How It Feels, available in both ebook and paperback from Amazon.

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